My friend brings her baby everywhere – is it wrong not to invite her on trips?

When people in your circle of friends start spending important life moments in front of others, it can strain the close bond you once had.

These milestones can include entering a serious relationship, getting married, or starting a family.

One woman recently confessed that her friend, who had a baby this year, insisted on bringing the newborn everywhere, which “changed the dynamic of the group.”

The baby stopped them from doing things they used to enjoy together, like drinking, so the group just started hanging out without her.

Now, she wants to know if she’s wrong about excluding her friend from a group trip.

“It’s a downfall for the rest of us”

She took to Reddit to explain: “One of my friends (F24), Anna (F24) had a baby about six months ago. Our group of friends is different without kids. We all hung out long before the baby was born. The baby changed the dynamic because Anna wanted to bring the baby everywhere with her and she’s a baby.”

“We tried to plan things around the baby to include Anna, but it always ended badly. We don’t have to drink, because Anna can’t drink.

“We shouldn’t be noisy because the baby needs to sleep. The icing on the cake is that her baby is extremely fussy and cries all the time. It was just a downfall for the rest of us. So we started living without Anna and her baby.”

Things came to a head when the rest of the friendship group went on a holiday last week without Anna, and they posted about it on social media and the mother realized she had been left out.

“I tried to tell her it was a last-minute plan and we could only find a resort without kids,” the woman said, but Anna caught her, “sending pictures that some random family had posted with kids at the resort.”

The OP continued: “She kept pushing me and I told her we didn’t want to be with her baby. She asked how can I say this about her child. I asked her to leave it at that, but she didn’t. I finally told him it’s a baby and we’re all young. We don’t want to live our lives with a child she chose to have. We got to do things to grow up and celebrate everything we loved. Her child is the only reason she wasn’t invited.

“If I leave the child at home, she can come too. She ran into me and called me a hole. She also sent a message to the group chat saying she’s disappointed in all of us for excluding her just because she’s a mom. Half of our friend group thinks I shouldn’t have told them the real reason and is mad at me. The other half thinks she’s unreasonable.”

“It’s an unfair expectation that her friends have to adjust their behavior for her child”

In the comments, mostly everyone supported the woman.

One said: “You tried to let her down easily and she kept asking. Her life is different, and maybe she just needs to find a different group of friends that more closely matches her interests.”

A second wrote: “Here’s the cold hard truth – a baby changes your life. The things you used to do you can’t do anymore.

“Your friend misses her pre-baby life, which is why she wants to be included in all your dates. While this may be cool some of the time, it’s not cool all the time. Your friend’s lifestyle has now changed, but she tries to force those changes on you?! Yes, NO. Your friend’s choice to have a child has affected her social life, but she cannot and should not impose these changes on you.”

“As a friend, suggest she find some mom groups,” said a third.

“She’ll meet moms she can relate to in a way that you and your group of friends can’t. Also, if you all want to maintain friendship, you could have a baby friendly meeting every month or every other month, or maybe ask if a family member can babysit every time so she can meet you you guys for lunch or dinner.

“She chose to have a child and that child is now her responsibility. It is an unfair and fair expectation that her friends should adjust their behavior for her child. Life doesn’t work that way.”